I had a doctor’s appointment this morning. I tried everything I know to keep my blood pressure down, but I have the kind of anxious mind that with just one thought I can shoot my blood pressure up to stroke level.

And there’s no stopping it.

My fear today?

They will put me on blood pressure medication because my blood pressure is high. The side effects of a medication that I don’t need is what I want to avoid. Side effects like—dizziness, unusual tiredness, swelling, chest tightness, headache, brain fog. I’ve had those from being on Metoprolol in the past. I’ve weaned myself off Metoprolol, and I want to stay off.

But, my naughty mind sabotages me with fear.

My blood pressure was 167/90 in the office. I had a great nurse who wrote down the blood pressure that I took recently at home instead. My blood pressure right now is 137/83 which is a little more normal for me. After I’ve worked in the garden it is more like this one… 126/72.

Luckily my labs were great and my total cholesterol had gone down from 257 to 219 after changing to a plant based diet. Another fear—that they would put me on cholesterol medication, but my test results helped with that.

Honestly, I don’t know how to conquer certain fears that I have.

I think my main problem is that I don’t think God will help me in these times.

I pray.

I ask for His help.

But then I don’t trust Him to do it. I keep repeating to myself— “be anxious for nothing,” “be anxious for nothing,” “be anxious for nothing”. (Philippians 4:6-7)

And then I’m anxious.

Or… “help my unbelief.” (Mark 9:23-25) And then I don’t believe the Lord will help me.

But He does. Even with all my fears and unbelief.

The Lord answers by giving me a kind nurse who writes down the blood pressure from home, and a very caring Nurse Practitioner who doesn’t push me into doing anything unless she thinks it necessary and encourages me to do my own research. Other than that high blood pressure, the appointment went very well. My EKG was normal. And the Nurse Practitioner was so satisfied with my labs that instead of an every six month doctor appointment I can now go to yearly.

I truly believe that all came from the Lord! Even in the midst of my unbelief.

Now if I can just trust more fully in the goodness that I saw from Him today and stop my anxious thoughts.

Do you have trouble conquering certain anxieties? If so comment below.

Praying everyone has a great week!