If you read last week’s post you know my history of how I was turned into a crazy cat lady against my will. You know how my porch looked with traps, feeding bowls, and cat hair on rocking chair cushions ect.
You can’t see the food bowls in this picture because they are on this side of the rocking chair with the blue pads in it. They were metallic and a raccoon came on two different nights and stole two of the bowls, so I had to replace them.
This is the how the porch looked when the preacher and his wife came to visit. I had spent the day working in the yard with a ball cap on. The cap was off, my hair was in a pony tail but mashed flat from the cap. I was cooking supper in leopard tights and a gray T-shirt covered in flour, when the door bell rang. My husband answered and left the poor preacher and his wife on the front porch on a very cold and windy day, to come get me.
I told him I’d be there in a minute. I dashed to the closet, put my hat back on to cover my hair, and changed into a denim skirt. I was walking toward the door brushing the flour off my shirt when I heard my husband say something about “my wife” and “cats”. How embarrassing!
I put on my gracious cloak, and immediately, as soon as I see them, start trying to explain my cat situation. Then I realize it’s very cold. They insist on leaving and “not bothering us.” I insist they come in. They brought cookies. I thanked them as best I could. At least the living room looked nice and I have scriptures on the wall;) Maybe that counts.
They were very sweet. The preacher asked several times if they could answer any questions about their church. The visit was short and soon over, but I loved both of them for their kindness.
The real story is— why are we attending a new church?
You’ve seen the movies… about “mean girls”. You may have had experiences with “mean girls” from High School. But, have you ever had the experience of “mean girls” in church?
I’ve had this experience several times over the years, but this one actually took the cake. These girls, actually women, ran to the altar almost weekly to pray, ran down to the altar to pray in groups if one of the other mean girls went, and got up still acting mean.
I won’t go into all the details of their meanness, but one of their biggest problems was— they didn’t want the “new girl” singing on the front row of the choir. How they went about getting me out of the choir was very interesting and on the level of a junior high mentality. When I went to the first choir practice to sing, I asked the choir director where to stand and that’s where he put me. I never asked to be put on the front row, but somehow these girls didn’t get that memo.
It took us two years to join that church. A friend asked me recently why I joined since they were already treating me badly. My thought processes were like when you look at getting married. If your boyfriend is looking at other women all the time, you think if you marry him it will make him stop looking. That doesn’t work.
I thought maybe if we joined the church then we would be part of them and be accepted. We never were.
We stayed in that church for three years. I feel others could see what was going on, but no one ever intervened, even when I stopped singing in the choir. No preacher, deacon, Sunday school teacher—no one ever came to me to see what the problem was. Because the “mean girls” are the favored ones.
The preacher of that church has a friend who’s wife advised him that if someone left the church, consider them a goat and that he was there to take care of the sheep, not the goats. I guess she never read the parables about leaving the ninety-nine in search of one lost sheep (Luke 15:1-7), or the parable of the lost coin (Luke 15:8-10).
Anyways, we were able to quietly slip away and no one came to get us. I guess they were glad to see us go.
So we visited a new church that had sent us a card in the mail. We visited on a Sunday, and that preacher and his wife came the next day. This is a big church, with two services on Sunday morning. This is a busy pastor. And yet he came. We have never had that happen before.
We have been attending this new church for several Sunday’s now and so far everyone is very kind and sweet. It feels peaceful.
In the meantime I’ve cleaned up the front porch. I had to vacuum the outdoor carpet with a special vacuum I only use for that purpose. I had to empty the canister three times, with two full to the brim, and one half full of cat fur. YIKES!
So— here’s the after pictures.
I added a new rug, new chair cushions, and ferns— after a major cleaning.
My only question is—How long do you think it will stay pretty like this when this is what greets me at the door each morning?
Left to right, Smudge, Callie, Smokey, and Spot.
I just wish the preacher and his wife would come to visit now. We might could clear up their first impressions.
Anyways…
I recently saw a couple on YouTube talking about trying to find a church to go to in Kentucky and they apparently ran into the same situation that we were in. They moved on and now have a much better church to attend.
Have you had any experiences with mean girls in church that you could share without naming the culprits? If so, please comment below. It helps others to know that they’re not alone in these situations.